Quartonttenlantarpdobmon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, cheerful clam.

Quartonttenlantarpdobmon created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartonttenlantarpdobmon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quartonttenlantarpdobmon, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quartonttenlantarpdobmon's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Quartonttenlantarpdobmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Quartonttenlantarpdobmon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.