Latlatlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional mouse.

Latlatlarg created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latlatlarg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Latlatlarg, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Latlatlarg's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Latlatlarg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Latlatlarg seven times a day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Retreat if five turtles approach from the south.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Latlatlarg.