Nurtrental is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, blissful dog.

Nurtrental created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtrental, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurtrental, he will be very unhappy.

Nurtrental's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Nurtrental's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nurtrental eight times a day.

2. Run away if three gulls approach from the west.

3. Never laugh in the presence of rats.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Hide from red ducks for they are unholy.