Govnarlfig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent crab.

Govnarlfig created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govnarlfig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Govnarlfig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Govnarlfig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Govnarlfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Worship no other gods but Govnarlfig.

4. Always obey Govnarlfig's priests.

5. Always help tapirs in need.