Tafgepmig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, sapient seal.

Tafgepmig created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafgepmig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tafgepmig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tafgepmig's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tafgepmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tafgepmig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.