Govnatlamfum is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, clever wren.

Govnatlamfum created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Govnatlamfum, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govnatlamfum, he will laugh at you.

Govnatlamfum's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Govnatlamfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Hide if nine pigs approach from the east.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to ducks while wearing purple tights.

4. Erect six nickel sculptures of Govnatlamfum on top of important buildings.

5. Never write about amino acids.