Flagbangar is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciless manatee.

Flagbangar created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Flagbangar, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flagbangar, it will try to impress you with trees.

Flagbangar's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Flagbangar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing mauve shoes and balancing eight zinc spheres on your legs.

3. Never feed spinach to horses while wearing purple trousers.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Flagbangar loves tapirs, so they must be respected.