Cidwikgum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, moody squid.

Cidwikgum created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidwikgum, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cidwikgum, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cidwikgum's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cidwikgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to snakes while wearing jumpers.

2. Never paint your arms orange.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never talk about gravity near sheep while wearing cyan boots.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Cidwikgum in the centre of the settlement.