Quafgupmat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing swan.

Quafgupmat created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgupmat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quafgupmat, he will turn you into a mole.

Quafgupmat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quafgupmat's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always obey Quafgupmat's priests.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.