Ontdudzak is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, awesome goose.

Ontdudzak created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Ontdudzak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ontdudzak, it will make you grow a tail.

Ontdudzak's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ontdudzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ontdudzak's name in vain.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to pigs while wearing brown dresses.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not make images of living things.