Lanzedflig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, calm unicorn.

Lanzedflig created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanzedflig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lanzedflig, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lanzedflig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Lanzedflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near capybaras while wearing brown hats and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.

3. You must love Lanzedflig.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

5. Worship no other gods but Lanzedflig.