Ragquaghom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented duck.

Ragquaghom created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragquaghom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ragquaghom, he will turn you into a tree.

Ragquaghom's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ragquaghom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ragquaghom's name in vain.

2. Never feed cherries to turtles while wearing coats.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.