Wipfidgovnarlnig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, wise pig.

Wipfidgovnarlnig created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfidgovnarlnig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wipfidgovnarlnig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Wipfidgovnarlnig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wipfidgovnarlnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face black.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look at planets.