Quatvon is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, all-powerful gerbil.

Quatvon created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatvon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quatvon, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Quatvon's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Quatvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill nematodes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Never chant near sheep.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.