Cimfebkin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody goblin.

Cimfebkin created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimfebkin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimfebkin, he will boil you in a big pot.

Cimfebkin's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Cimfebkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.