Flatrappog is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witty mink.

Flatrappog created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Flatrappog, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flatrappog, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flatrappog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Flatrappog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.