Cepfumfum is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic porpoise.

Cepfumfum created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Cepfumfum, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cepfumfum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cepfumfum's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cepfumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about snails.

3. Never run near capybaras.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never play with disobedient children.