Sterfasdun Narlvolpin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, smart sheep.

Sterfasdun Narlvolpin created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Sterfasdun Narlvolpin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sterfasdun Narlvolpin, she will turn you into a sheep.

Sterfasdun Narlvolpin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sterfasdun Narlvolpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near rats while wearing black dresses and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never feed turnips to aardvarks while wearing blue tights.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.