Sinarpfit is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, idiotic guinea pig.

Sinarpfit created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinarpfit, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sinarpfit, she will torture you forever.

Sinarpfit's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Sinarpfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Sinarpfit in the centre of the settlement.