Kabyiknart is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless cat.

Kabyiknart created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabyiknart, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kabyiknart, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kabyiknart's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Kabyiknart's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not keep four capybaras in a large pit.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near snakes while wearing mauve shirts and balancing five zinc spheres on your face.