Gunpadlin is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever guinea pig.

Gunpadlin created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunpadlin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gunpadlin, it will turn you into a mole.

Gunpadlin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gunpadlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat green fruit.