Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive meerkat.

Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat, he will laugh at you.

Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat's priests.

2. Run away from pink horses, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yiklakkan Hugmutjonmat.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.