Flanjanjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow aardvark.

Flanjanjarn created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanjanjarn, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanjanjarn, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flanjanjarn's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Flanjanjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help sick cats.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Put Flanjanjarn first in all things.