Wotmabsom Luncarort is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, wise jaguar.

Wotmabsom Luncarort created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Wotmabsom Luncarort, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotmabsom Luncarort, he will turn you into a mole.

Wotmabsom Luncarort's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Wotmabsom Luncarort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Wotmabsom Luncarort's name in vain.

2. Never wear turquoise coats.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Wotmabsom Luncarort in the centre of the settlement.