Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton is a god.

It takes the form of a large, kind rat.

Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Tapwodtifnurtben Rawhonton on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing yellow coats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.