Tigfarnzensas is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, impressive chicken.

Tigfarnzensas created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfarnzensas, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tigfarnzensas, he will turn you into a plant.

Tigfarnzensas' most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tigfarnzensas' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tigfarnzensas.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never wear pink rings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.