Stanstansom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent unicorn.

Stanstansom created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanstansom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stanstansom, it will turn you into a puffin.

Stanstansom's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Stanstansom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.