Nilljabzencuss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous dove.

Nilljabzencuss created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilljabzencuss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nilljabzencuss, he will turn you into a slug.

Nilljabzencuss' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nilljabzencuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

5. Shrews are not to be trusted.