Vonlistfen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, amazing wombat.

Vonlistfen created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonlistfen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vonlistfen, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vonlistfen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Vonlistfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Respect your elders.