Fagontquill is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful dove.

Fagontquill created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagontquill, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fagontquill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fagontquill's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fagontquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Retreat if eight mice approach from the north.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never mention otters.

5. Never paint your legs fawn.