Bitnuttstik is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring chicken.

Bitnuttstik created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitnuttstik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bitnuttstik, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bitnuttstik's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bitnuttstik's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bitnuttstik.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bitnuttstik.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.