Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless rhinoceros.

Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad, he will ignore you.

Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must love Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Camtargdum Gebdudsandwotmad.