Gebxenbegsag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonest lizard.

Gebxenbegsag created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebxenbegsag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gebxenbegsag, he will turn you into a puffin.

Gebxenbegsag's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Gebxenbegsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not hurt eagles.

4. Never feed nuts to gulls while wearing turquoise boots.

5. Do not drink alcohol.