Taparmbid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered grasshopper.

Taparmbid created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Taparmbid, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Taparmbid, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Taparmbid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Taparmbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Run away if three otters approach from the north.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Do not commit murder.