Matrulnutyiknibgofflanteen is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciful dragonfly.

Matrulnutyiknibgofflanteen created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Matrulnutyiknibgofflanteen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Matrulnutyiknibgofflanteen, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Matrulnutyiknibgofflanteen's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Matrulnutyiknibgofflanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never bounce near hamsters.

5. Do not eat spinach.