Gubflapfum is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate clam.

Gubflapfum created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubflapfum, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gubflapfum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gubflapfum's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gubflapfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never bounce in the presence of gulls.

3. Hide if three sheep approach from the west.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Never paint your arms indigo.