Flatbosshon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, selfish hydra.

Flatbosshon created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatbosshon, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flatbosshon, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Flatbosshon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Flatbosshon's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.