Yattitnill is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate hamster.

Yattitnill created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattitnill, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yattitnill, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yattitnill's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yattitnill's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yattitnill three times a day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear purple shirts.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.