Vonkpingupdudgat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, competent slug.

Vonkpingupdudgat created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpingupdudgat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonkpingupdudgat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonkpingupdudgat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vonkpingupdudgat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never wear purple ear rings.

5. Never look at planets.