Zimdissfatgem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless swallow.

Zimdissfatgem created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimdissfatgem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zimdissfatgem, it will boil you in a big pot.

Zimdissfatgem's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zimdissfatgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.