Getlakyim Artzenton is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unjust wombat.

Getlakyim Artzenton created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getlakyim Artzenton, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Getlakyim Artzenton, he will be very unhappy.

Getlakyim Artzenton's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Getlakyim Artzenton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never sing near snails.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Getlakyim Artzenton.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away from purple pigs, for they are unholy.