Bidwitcum is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving mink.

Bidwitcum created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidwitcum, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bidwitcum, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bidwitcum's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bidwitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always obey Bidwitcum's priests.