Hatyarlingjantenponjop is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, able naga.

Hatyarlingjantenponjop created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatyarlingjantenponjop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hatyarlingjantenponjop, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hatyarlingjantenponjop's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hatyarlingjantenponjop's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hatyarlingjantenponjop.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must pray to Hatyarlingjantenponjop four times a day.