Largtipnig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable cat.

Largtipnig created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largtipnig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Largtipnig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Largtipnig's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Largtipnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.