Lamvilkon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic squirrel.

Lamvilkon created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamvilkon, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamvilkon, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lamvilkon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Lamvilkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.