Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent faun.

Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Put Tintikget Vedkadjabmotarm first in all things.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not commit murder.