Miftaphug is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing seal.

Miftaphug created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Miftaphug, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Miftaphug, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Miftaphug's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Miftaphug's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Hide from violet eagles for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.