Sidtifquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, wise gnu.

Sidtifquaf created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidtifquaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sidtifquaf, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sidtifquaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Sidtifquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Sidtifquaf on top of all buildings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must never eat aubergines.