Yatbarnhon is a god.

It takes the form of a small, duplicitous donkey.

Yatbarnhon created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatbarnhon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yatbarnhon, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yatbarnhon's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Yatbarnhon's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.