Carnarmad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental ferret.

Carnarmad created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Carnarmad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Carnarmad, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Carnarmad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Carnarmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face yellow.

2. Hide if six doves approach from the south.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. You must love Carnarmad.